Five tips for parents and carers on gaming and online wellbeing

When your children first start expressing an interest in gaming, show your enthusiasm and learn about the games together. It may be that they already know more than you do, so ask them to explain their favourite games and perhaps try playing together.

If you’re a fascinated novice this may keep you connected and aware of the gaming environment. It may also help them learn as you guide each other. Showing genuine curiosity about their gaming abilities and achievements can help you to feel connected to their experience.

Educate yourself about parental controls and how to report inappropriate behaviour that you or your child may come across. Familiarise yourself with any age ratings and content warnings to ensure children are playing age-appropriate games.

Understand chat and messaging settings so that your child is not exposed to inappropriate communication with others. In-game chat can pose risks so make appropriate decisions about what gaming platforms children are using.

Importantly, stay involved and keep monitoring so you’re aware of any new updates or safety features.

Before your child begins gaming, it can be a good idea to set clear boundaries on things such as time limits on gaming. Agreeing on this together is more effective than setting the limits yourself, and safer than leaving it up to your child to decide. By involving your child in the discussion and decision making process, you are ensuring they feel buy-in and responsibility too, which helps develop trust, build connection and help children gain an understanding about how to set their own appropriate boundaries.

Try to model your own behaviour around spending time on devices where possible, too. Children learn from the significant adults in their lives - if they see that you are constantly on your devices and struggling to put them aside, they will learn this too.

Create a family schedule for screen time that applies to everyone in the family, not just the children. It is beneficial to mental wellbeing and a good night’s sleep to keep devices out of bedrooms at night. You could try setting up a docking device in another space such as the kitchen, where everyone charges their devices overnight and gaming activities are limited to jointly-agreed time slots. Keep gaming devices in shared spaces when possible.

Help your children balance gaming (and time spent on any digital devices) with other activities, either as a family, or with friends or through independent interests. Time away from devices is likely to mean that children will look forward to and enjoy a scheduled gaming session far more than if they are able to have unlimited constant contact with devices. In particular, time out in nature will reboot their connection with ‘real’ life.

Having educated yourself about online safety, reporting mechanisms, age ratings, age appropriate games and online communications, ensure that you talk to your children about online behaviour and risks.

Rather than leaving them to have a negative experience to learn about potential dangers, educate them about online interactions with strangers and help them understand potential threats such as cyberbullying or the implications of in-game purchases and spending and how these work. Ensure that they understand the importance of keeping personal information private and remind them that they can always turn to you (or someone they trust) for help should they be worried or scared, or have a negative experience. If you or your child needs support, you can have an anonymous, confidential conversation with a trained volunteer by texting CIRCLE to 85258. It’s free and available 24/7.

Importantly, monitor children for any changes in their physical and mental wellbeing. While mood and behaviour may change as children mature and become more independent, look out for signs of withdrawal or acting out, sudden or gradual, and keep the channels of communication open about gaming habits. If you have concerns, always check in on their wellbeing.

If you’re unsure how to start a conversation, a ‘naive enquirer’ approach, such as ‘I’m just wondering how you…’; ‘I’ve noticed that you’ve been much quieter the last couple of days …and I just wanted to check…’ can be a good way to begin.

In particular watch out for signs that gaming is affecting their sleep and encourage regular breaks and physical activity.

Where possible, keep gaming in shared family areas in the home so that children are not isolated in their bedrooms when they are playing and you are able to monitor their interactions and habits.