How to start a conversation about suicide
This year’s World Suicide Prevention Day focuses on 'Changing the Narrative on Suicide,' with a call to 'Start the Conversation'.
Changing the narrative means rethinking how we view suicide; shifting from a culture of silence towards one rooted in openness, understanding and support. Talking about it can reduce stigma and removes barriers to help-seeking, making those experiencing suicidal thoughts feel less isolated and more able to seek the support they need. Learning how to start these conversations can be empowering for both those experiencing suicidal thoughts and those offering support.
Mental Health Innovations Research Psychologist Dr Stella Rendall shares some guidance on how to approach this sensitive topic.
- Learn about the myths and misconceptions. Before discussing suicide, educate yourself on the risk factors, myths and misconceptions, and warning signs. This will enable you to engage in these conversations with sensitivity and provide confident, respectful responses.
- Engage with empathy. Empathy helps the person feel heard and supported, encouraging them to share more openly and reducing the isolation they may feel. Show genuine concern by listening without judgement and acknowledging the person's feelings. Avoid the urge to immediately offer solutions, focus on understanding their emotions and validating their experiences instead. Additionally, using empathetic phrases such as "I'm here for you”, or “I can imagine how difficult this must be for you” can help provide a sense of comfort and emotional safety.
- Ask direct questions. Although it may feel uncomfortable and intrusive, asking direct questions about suicide is an effective way to encourage someone to open up about their feelings. Questions like “Are you having suicidal thoughts?”, or “Have you felt like ending your life?” gives the person the opportunity to express themselves openly without fear of judgement. Being direct also brings relief to those who are struggling, as it validates their pain and shows genuine care and concern.
- Listen actively. Active listening is one of the most powerful tools for safe conversations about suicide. It involves fully focusing on what someone is saying without interrupting, judging, or offering immediate advice, which signals to them that you are truly present and willing to understand their emotions. Use non-verbal or verbal cues such as nodding or saying “I am listening”, and reflect their emotions and thoughts to show that you understand. By listening actively, you help build trust, allowing the person to feel safe expressing their thoughts and emotions.
- Be patient. Conversations about suicide may take time, as the person struggling may not be ready to share everything at once, or may be unsure about their emotions. Patience helps alleviate pressure, allowing them to open up at their own pace, and demonstrates that you are sincerely supportive.
- Remain calm. Staying calm when starting conversations about suicide is crucial as it helps foster a supportive and non-threatening environment. A calm demeanour can ease the person’s anxiety and provide reassurance, allowing them to feel safer and more comfortable sharing their feelings. It also enables you to think clearly and respond appropriately showing that you are composed and genuinely concerned about their well-being.
- Offer hope and support. Provide hope and reassurance by letting the person know that they are not alone and that there is hope. Encourage them to seek professional help and assist them in finding appropriate resources and support services.
Remember to check in with yourself.
Talking about suicide can be emotionally challenging and it is completely normal to feel anxious or overwhelmed afterwards. It's important to give yourself time to process your emotions and engaging in self-care activities and doing things you enjoy can help you relax and recharge. If needed, reach out for support by sharing your feelings with people you trust. Remember that your wellbeing is important, and looking after yourself allows you to continue supporting others in a healthy and sustainable manner.
Starting conversations about suicide can feel daunting, but it is a vital step in offering hope and support. Being well-informed, and approaching the conversation with empathy, directness, patience and a non-judgemental attitude allows you to create a safe environment for those experiencing suicidal thoughts to express themselves, feel less alone, and receive the guidance they need to access appropriate help.
