Ben’s story: I know what it’s like to lose someone, and I don’t want anyone to ever feel like they’re alone

Ben, aged 22 from London, lost his younger brother to suicide in 2018, just before he started university. One night, in his student accommodation, he couldn’t cope with everything he was feeling and didn’t think anyone would understand.

In his own words, Ben said: "I needed a release for the pressure and that’s why I texted Shout.”

“That night, the Shout Volunteer gave me the space to calm down and look at what was making me upset and, in doing so, allowed me to see that what was happening was manageable. She allowed me to believe that I could cope. This was part of my turning point.”

Several years later, Ben decided to become a Shout Volunteer. He said: “I often think about what might have been different if my brother had texted Shout that night. I'd do anything to go back and change things, but I can't. What I can do is help someone else choose to stay, and in turn change another family's story. "

How did you first hear about Shout?

I first heard about Shout on Instagram when it launched.

Why did you text Shout?

I lost my younger brother to suicide in 2018, just before I started university. One night in my accommodation I just couldn't cope with everything I was dealing with, and I didn't feel like anyone would understand if I spoke to them about it. I needed a release for the pressure and that's why I texted.

How did the Shout Volunteer help you?

When so much is going wrong, it can be hard to think clearly about the individual problems and impossible to see a way through. That night the volunteer gave me the space to calm down and look at what was making me upset and in doing so allowed me to see that what was happening was manageable. She allowed me to believe that I could cope.

What were the best things about using Shout, for you?

As a young person, 90% of my communication with other people is text-based. Because that's how you also reach and speak to a Shout volunteer, it feels incredibly natural and as close to fear-free as these conversations can be.

Was texting Shout a turning point for you - or how did it help you make progress towards feeling better in the longer-term?

Texting Shout was part of my turning point. I thought I was coping with everything before, but really I was just pretending nothing had happened. Texting Shout and being allowed to process what was happening went a long way towards me realising that pretending to be alright wasn't helping me and actually I needed to do something differently. That change happened in part because of how the volunteer allowed me that night to believe I could be okay again.

What inspired you to train to be a Shout Volunteer?

I lost my brother to suicide in 2018. I often think about what might have been different if he had texted Shout that night. I'd do anything to go back and change things, but I can't. What I can do is help someone else choose to stay, and in turn change another family's story. That's why I trained, that's why I volunteer, because I know what it's like to lose someone, and I know that I don't want anyone to ever feel like they're alone.

Are you enjoying volunteering?

In that moment, as a volunteer you can have a profound effect on someone's life. I know personally that I will never forget the conversation I had with a volunteer when I texted in. Being part of such an important moment and allowing someone to feel capable, possibly for the first time in their life, there really is no feeling better than that.

What would you say to anyone who was thinking about volunteering for Shout?

If you're considering volunteering, you're the right person to do it. All you need to become a volunteer is empathy and a desire to help, the training teaches you the rest and gives you all the knowledge you need to take a texter from crisis to calm.