How to support a young person with an Eating Disorder
This Eating Disorders Awareness Week, our guest blogger Jenny Tomei - an Eating Disorder Therapist and Nutritional Therapist who runs the ED support community Jen Up - shares some helpful tips for parents and carers on how to support a child or young person with an ED and what to do if you suspect they have one.
What is an eating disorder?
According to the NHS, eating disorders are a ‘mental health condition where you use the control of food to cope with feelings and other situations’. Recognising an eating disorder is the first step towards healing and regaining balance and it’s important to remember that while eating disorders can be overwhelming, help and support is available and recovery is possible.
There are various types of eating disorders, including Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia, and Binge Eating Disorder. However, some individuals might not fit into these categories and instead experience Other Specified Feeding or Eating Disorders (OSFED) or ARFID (Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder), which is more common among individuals with autism. Understanding these different experiences helps us better support those going through these challenges.
What are some of the signs and symptoms to look out for in young people?
It can be tough to know what signs to look for when it comes to eating disorders, especially in young people, but recognising the symptoms early will really help you give your young person the support they need.
Some changes might be subtle, but here are a few signs that could indicate that they are struggling with an eating disorder.
- Withdrawal from social activities
- Over exercising
- Skipping meals
- A noticeable dip in mood, or irritability
- Avoidance of certain foods (especially cutting out fats and carbohydrates)
- Preoccupation with weight loss, food, calories, and dieting
- Engaging in food rituals, such as excessive chewing or rearranging food on the plate
- Concerns with body shape and size
- Feeling cold or fatigued often
- Feeling dizzy
- Experiencing gastrointestinal issues (like constipation)
- Trouble focusing or sleeping
- Dry skin or hair
- Lack of menstruation or other hormonal imbalances
What to do if you think your child may have an eating disorder?
Children affected by eating disorders might be in denial about their condition, or on the other hand may go to great lengths to hide the disorder due to feelings of guilt and shame. As a parent, you can play a vital role in helping your child to address the behaviours and any associated emotional distress.
If you suspect that your child has an eating disorder, then it’s important to not just be on the lookout for weight fluctuations, as eating disorders come in all shapes and sizes.
It is important to look out for changes to their relationship with food, exercise, mood, and social interactions as these are equally key behaviours that need to be
It’s natural to feel uncertain or even helpless if you suspect your child may be struggling with an eating disorder. Remember, the path to healing starts with awareness and compassion.
The good news is that with your support, your young person can move towards recovery.
Here’s how you can approach the situation:
Keep an eye out for changes in their eating habits, mood, and social interactions, even beyond weight changes. These shifts could indicate underlying emotional distress and provide a chance to intervene early.
Approach the situation gently and let your child know you are concerned, but without judgment. Use “I” statements like “I’m worried because I’ve noticed…” to express your care without adding pressure. Listen without judgement and patiently to what they have to say.
Remember that this is a big deal for your child, so they’re probably feeling vulnerable. Show empathy for the mix of emotions they might be experiencing, acknowledge the challenges, and offer unconditional love and support.
Denial is a common reaction and resistance or even emotional outbursts. Try to stay calm and patient. It might take time for your child to acknowledge the issue. It’s common for children and young people to deny they have an issue or resist help, but your consistent support and calm demeanor can help them feel safe enough to open up when they're ready.
While part of them may acknowledge and appreciate your concern, another part of them may interpret your concern as a threat to their coping mechanism.
Acknowledge their emotions, and remind them they’re not alone. Healing takes time, and showing empathy can foster trust and openness.
Let your child know that you care deeply about them and that you're there to help whenever they’re ready to talk and that you will be there every step of the way.
How can you support your child with an eating disorder?
Supporting your child through an eating disorder can be challenging but remember, your love and patience can make a significant impact.
Some tips to help support you and your child:
The more you understand about eating disorders and the recovery process, the better equipped you’ll be to offer meaningful support. Knowledge fosters compassion and empowers you to be a steadfast advocate for your child.
Encourage open dialogue by fostering a safe, non-judgemental space for your child. Listen attentively without rushing to fix things. Sometimes, just being there and validating their feelings is all they need.
Collaborate with therapists, nutritionists, and doctors who are trained to work with eating disorders. A multidisciplinary approach is the most effective.
Help your child discover activities that promote self-esteem and focus away from food and body image. These could include sports, creative hobbies, or volunteer work, all of which can provide a sense of purpose and confidence.
Show your child that you value self-care and a healthy relationship with food and body image. Avoid making negative comments about your own body or diets, and instead, demonstrate positive behaviours.
Remind your child that your love is unconditional, and that they are valued for who they are, not for what they look like.
Supporting someone with an eating disorder can be emotionally exhausting, so make sure to take care of your own mental and emotional health. Joining a support group or seeking individual counseling can provide you with the tools you need to stay resilient and strong for your child.
Whatever you are going through, it's important to remember you don't have to face it alone. If you or your child need further support, you can text ‘Shout’ to 85258 to speak to a trained volunteer. The service is free, confidential, anonymous and available 24/7.
