Parents and carers: how to support a young person who is being bullied
Navigating the world of bullying as a parent or carer can be daunting and overwhelming. It can take many forms, including physical, verbal and cyber.
You may experience a range of emotions when supporting someone who is being bullied, from anger to upset to worry, but it’s important to remember that there is support available, and that you don’t have to face it alone.
Here are some tips on how to support someone who is being bullied.
Let them know you are there for them
The child or young person in your care might not feel ready to talk about how they feel or what has happened. They might feel scared, confused, angry or upset. It’s important to let them know that whatever they’re thinking and feeling is ok and not to let your own responses overshadow theirs. Responding calmly, openly and empathetically can help them to feel safe and secure. Offer them a hug, let them know you understand how difficult the situation is and ask how they are feeling.
Give them time and space to open up
It can be hard to talk about what’s happening, and as a parent or carer, it’s natural to want to solve the problem right away. You may find yourself asking lots of questions, but this can sometimes overwhelm the child or young person. It is important to allow them to open up at their own pace and give them the space to process their emotions. Engaging in activities like going for a walk or drive can create a more relaxed setting for conversation, helping the child or young person feel more comfortable and open up. For some, talking without direct eye contact can make it easier to express their feelings. If you’re supporting a younger child, they might prefer to draw a picture to express their feelings and emotions, or read a book that helps them identify and explain how they are feeling.
Remind them they are enough
We may not always fully understand why someone is bullied, but often bullies target others due to differences in characteristics or traits related to appearance, personality, interests or background. This can undermine a child or young person’s confidence. It is important to reassure them that the bullying is not their fault and to remind them that they are valuable, loved and deserving of respect. Practising positive affirmations can help strengthen their resilience and highlight the many wonderful qualities they possess. For instance, you could create a bedtime ritual where you both repeat a positive affirmation about themselves, or spend time during dinner sharing three things you appreciate about each other that day.
Get support
Being bullied can be stressful for both the child or young person experiencing the bullying and the person supporting them. It is important for both of you to recognise your feelings and find healthy ways to cope with the challenges together. Remember you don’t have to face bullying alone. In addition to talking to a teacher or professional, there are various resources available for support. At Shout we offer a free, 24/7 confidential and anonymous text service for anyone struggling to cope. If you or your child would rather speak to someone they don’t know, you can text in to receive support from a trained, empathetic Shout Volunteer. Many find it helpful to have conversations over text, as they can refer back to the conversation later. This can be especially beneficial for the child or young person, as they can share the conversation with their parents or carers, without having to explain everything again.
There are a number of national charities and organisations who can help provide specific support around bullying and our partner The Mix, which is powered by our parent charity Mental Health Innovations has a number of resources on its website:
